Looking for a gentleman to hang out with this evening
With the right mindset and strategies, you can approach your long-time crush or stranger at the coffee shop or bar with a greater likelihood of getting digits and a date. Here are tips from two of the most successful dating coaches in New York City. Our advice is written with guys in mind but the tips can be useful to anyone.
We all know that dating today looks a lot less like dating and a lot more like hanging out. Rather than planning a time and place to have quality time and get to know one another, we settle in on the couch for some ambiguous romantic tension and the possibility of one thing leading to the next. As a man, there is something admittedly appealing about the hangout session.
Dates establish healthy boundaries.
I think you can find out whether or not you would be interested in a relationship relatively quickly without the weird pressures that official dates tend to come with. It can be a rather daunting task to keep up a conversation over the course of a date that might last up to two hours or more.
Not to mention that other people might find out that you went out together and start asking lo of questions. Does that mean I might scare off a woman every once in awhile by coming on too strong? Sure it does. In my same casual male friend poll, I learned that, for the most part, there are plenty of guys who agree with me.
Raise the question.
Despite the relatable discomfort about the pressure of a date, most of the men I talked to agreed that asking a woman on a date is typically the surest way to a real, healthy relationship. There are a lot of reasons men and women should ditch the comfortable hangout sesh and opt for a date, but for those women who would rather slide into things, here are three reasons you should quit the "hanging out" zone and expect dates from men instead.
So a man wants to hang out. It could mean he likes you and he wants a non-threatening way to start the real romantic relationship.
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It could also mean that what he really wants is a long-term FWB, or even a one-night stand. A date means you never have to wonder if he is looking for an emotional girlfriend or a real girlfriend.
On a date you have to plan ahead, even to the point you have to put something on the calendar. People will see you together on what looks like a date! A date, on the other hand, especially a first date, typically happens outside of the home at a particular time that has a natural end to it. Dinner ends after dessert.
But if and when it happens tends to be more intentional on the part of both parties involved, and if you are not looking for a one night stand, intentional is good.
Gentlemen speak: 3 reasons you should go on a date instead of ‘hanging out’
I am so awkward on dates. But I do think there is something about what the word represents, which is an intentional one-on-one time together with romance in mind.
But if a date is exactly what you want, don't be afraid to ask for it. At the very least, you both have clearer expectations about what your relationship is and what your time together will look like.
How to ask someone out: expert tips for acting like a gentleman
I know I do. So why not try skipping the hangout thing and opt for the good old-fashioned first date?
Photo Credit: Manchick Photography. Follow these steps to keep the end of your date free from awkward moments.
Gentlemen speak: 3 ways to know if a guy wants to ‘hang out’ as friends or something more
Sharing your dating trials with the men in your life can really help a brother out. Home Relationships. It keeps the relationship intentional. Dates establish healthy boundaries.
It sets up clear expectations. By Isaac Huss.